Wednesday, October 6, 2010

drinking the green koolaid


A couple of weeks ago I stumbled upon my mom's copy of the South Beach Diet, which had been collecting dust for several years. I recalled that my best C-kill friend had tried it out and had lost a bunch of weight. Of course she later told me a majority of it was from not eating much in general, and after beginning the diet I could see why. Over the course of two weeks I cheated 2-3 times by having cereal for breakfast (I love cereal for breakfast, and anything else that is sugary and not eggs, but I at least kept it to a cereal that was under 5g of sugar!)... In any case, I was feeling good about this change. The next "stage" of this diet has pretty much turned back to me eating more of what I want, less of the healthier things I should be eating. This includes vegetables. This was a huge struggle for me, because the first two weeks called for eating 1/2c veggies with breakfast, and 2c each with lunch and dinner. Obviously I could barely ever make that cut, considering I can name all the vegetables I like on 1 or 2 hands. So where does someone go from there, that really needs to incorporate veggies into healthier foods.

It's actually a lot more complicated than one would think, without just packing them into other calorie-rich foods... which would be my plan. I read so many blogs, articles, and opinions about ideas for adding veggies, trying new recipes, and just plain sucking it up and eating the damn things fresh. I'm a grown up, I shouldn't be struggling this much- but I am! I like corn and peas a lot- but go figure they are high in sugar and not the best ones for you. I can also tolerate lettuce for salads, but then of course you have to add in cheese and creamy dressing... sometimes italian vinegarette if I'm in the mood. Otherwise, I can do spinach, cauliflower, green beans, and asparagus- but only the kind that come in cans... what?! I know what you're thinking... who would like that smushy green glop over fresh vegetables in their prime?? ME.

I think it's because I was raised on those cans of vegetables, which were also usually covered with salt and butter. I have at least stepped away from those add-ons, and buy the no-salt added kind. I mean, it's at least still green and still a vegetable!
O well, I still struggle with how the hell am I supposed to eat 2 cups of those during a meal? Those crazy bitches.

So tonight I'm staring at the huge container of spinach I have in my fridge (which I've been mixing in eggs or cooking them up as a side-- easier to eat more because it cooks down)... and I've been thinking what am I going to do with it?! I mean, it's tolerable cooked, but there is a weird bitter film left on my teeth after eating it (not as enjoyable as it sounds) and it really bothers me even when mixed in with my low calorie ceasar dressing!

I think the biggest problem I have (in addition to lacking a desire to actually eat this green mess) is a lack of other ingredients kept at hand. I mean I could go get them, since there are 3 stores within a 4 block radius! ...but usually I'm too lazy or have a fear of wasting any of the over-priced goods I purchase there.
In any case, my newest idea struck me tonight while watching the Biggest Loser (love this show and wish I could get one of those trainers in my life lol)- I can make a smoothie with fruit AND vegetables! Now you don't have to tell me about the negatives of "drinking your calories," I haven't been this overweight for this long and not done a little reading about diets and exercise and health in the meantime (would be nice if I applied those things on a daily basis, eh?). I got a juicer a few months ago as a gift and was super excited to try it out- but then I realized how everyone said to eat the fruit and stop drinking down way too many calories while losing some of the nutritional value. Well Ok, I get that. But I also get that I need to get those veggies in somehow, and if I have to have both of my afternoon snacks thrown into this blender to get my other servings, I think it's a fair trade off. Granted I've been instructed not to keep these drinks too long, I think a couple hours in the fridge should be ok.

Since I should be starting my new job next week (I know, I'm excited too!! but have failed to make any permanent announcements due to not having signed anything that makes it official yet), I feel that I will be getting some pattern back into my life. While it can be frustrating and negative for some, I have often seen it work out to my benefit in terms of getting me motivated and on track. I can prepare lunches and snacks in advance, and hopefully get into a better workout routine. I know- I am always waiting to begin and should just begin right now... but let's be honest, I'm a procrastinator. While it would be nice not to put off today what I can do tomorrow, let's just say that any progress is good progress... after all, "The more you know," right?

On to making green smoothies galore! Suggestions welcome. Example: http://hubpages.com/hub/A-Spinach-Smoothie--Trust-That-it-is-Delicious

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

a little push in the right direction*



I once attended a random "spirituality" meeting, which was really just a way of recruiting people to a Christian church. I guess it's not all that much of a scam, considering Christianity can often be spiritual, but I guess I was expecting much more of an open-ended route to spirituality. In any case, there was one thing that has always stood out to me from that one night. A little worksheet showing that no matter which way you are moving in life, as long as you are pointed in the "right direction" you are moving closer to god. You can be far away, close, looking sideways, but your story is moving slightly closer to something. I probably didn't explain that very well, but no one else really has to get it.

In any case, I think today made me feel like I'm going in the right direction. I'm not sure what it is/was... maybe the workout and healthy eating and meditating, that didn't really help with sleeping, but did help me wake up to a sunrise- a bit surprising! The most surprising of all is that I haven't gone back to sleep again. I'm hoping this energy lasts until a reasonable hour, upon which I can get more than the 2 hours of sleep I got last night. A kick-butt workout really lifted my spirits today. It's amazing how a day like the others, with absolutely no energy and no desire to function in the world, could lead to a day like today.
Granted I might have pulled a muscle in my neck, but I gotta take what I can get!

In other news, there is no news about jobs at this point. I know, I know, I'm also highly disappointed. I literally have no money and am falling deeper and deeper into debt. It's a weird feeling of helplessness that I hope moves on soon!! I'm literally going to start waitressing soon if this keeps up! Life without money is no joke. Thank God for credit. and then again... it's a curse.

Did I mention my disgusting chocolate cake failure. Not my fault at all, I followed that recipe to the letter!! It's kind of annoying, because I think the idea of baking is fun... and God knows I love the end results (usually!!), which makes it ultra frustrating that many of my cooking ventures don't turn out as wonderful as the picture on the website. I think I might just throw caution to the wind and make an unhealthy version of something... then again, why waste such a good workout?! ;)

I need a massage.

P.S. Some pics from the Lucero 5K Run this week in Boston (MSPP)!!
Awesome short weekend with friends-- love it!!!! <3
What a mish-mashed blog post (guess that's what happens when one doesn't update enough)!



Friday, September 17, 2010

it's a small world after all

So I did have a late night last night (5am) which might explain sleeping til 2...
In any case, I watched The Town last night, with my love (and some other annoying drunk guy that apparently thought it was ok to yell things out during the movie). I thought the movie was really good, and it made me miss Quincy/Boston...
It also reminded me how much I miss the work I did at BATC, because I felt connected to the two. While Ben didn't exactly convince me as a recovering addict turned bank robber, it was a little realistic picture of people we can easily forget about. Makes me realize what the work meant to me, and reminds me to pray.

I'm heading up to the C-kill now, metro north yeah, and I'm very excited to see my BH! While its nice to be separated from my hometown, I always go back, and don't think that will ever change as long as my family and friends live in the area. As much as I've grown away from that town over the years, there will always be the ties that bind my heart to there. And like they say, home is where the heart is. I still say "I'm going home this wkend," although it is starting to feel strange saying that. Maybe when stronger roots are planted elsewhere I won't phrase it that way... but somehow I doubt it.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

vampires and runways, o my!


I often fluctuate between two ways of existing in the world. One is the yuckie, self-hater that makes me feel gross and bum-like. The other is seeking and reaching for the positivity in the world, for no reason other than to feel good. For some unknown reason, I have a very difficult time getting out of little Ms. Meanie... it's a bummer and drags me to sit in my pj's all day, which was a repeat of the previous day.

Forcing myself to shower at 8ish at night shouldn't involve the world force to begin with. On the other hand, I've dressed myself up to go out, or at least to see the midnight showing of a movie I've been waiting for. We'll see how it goes. In any case, no one should eat spaghetti o's.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

a studio can be a home


I have to admit it: I live in NYC and I am bored.
I am mostly bored because I am poor and lazy, but still- the fact remains. I might also be boring, as I've been told only boring people get bored. And again- the fact remains.
As with far too many days since I moved in a couple weeks ago, I have yet to leave my apartment. The worst part might be that it is a studio and that I live 100 yds from a park or two... I have nothing more to say about that. I am who I am.

I have, on a positive note, been working daily on my yoga for the past two wks= proud of myself. I have yet to force myself to join a group of others, as I am quit a beginner.

Fun activity of the day: I tried out my new juicer today. I put in lemons (way too many), as my first thought was lemonade. Then strawberries, for what else, strawberry lemonade. Well there were way too many lemons, as I said, and it is just really difficult to override that flavor. Two apples and four packets of splenda couldn't do it at least. I was hoping it would be ok, and as google has told me, lemons are really good for you- so that's a plus!


There's no real point of this blog anymore, but I was inspired by bidaboo (thank you!)
Now on with my day!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

a watched pot never boils...


*I will never have to see this capstone mess of papers again!!!!!*
I secretly started this post at 4am... while trying to finish up my capstone. I have to say that I am beyond exciting that this is the last day of capstone and to continue my life!!!!!
I am beyond excited and beyond happy right now :)
Enjoyyyyyyy

*yawwwwwn*

Sunday, May 2, 2010

365 days a year.


I'm trying out something new... obviously I meant to start it yesterday, being the 1st day of May and all... but I am a procrastinator by nature.


SO today I will begin my attempt to record my life in 365 pictures


It's supposed to be fun- and I'm all about fun!


So enjoy *muah*


(incase you have no idea what's going on here)





Here's what's going on today. In addition to it being an especially lovely day (it's almost 90 out!), I have slept until 3pm and I am currently now in cave-mode working on capstone. As you can see, I did take a bitty break (as if I had started already...) to get some delicious coffee from MaryLou's! um, yummm! Anywho, you can see the time, and the current lack of coffee- so it's time to get finishing this paper!!!

Oh Capstone, soon you will be over. Soon... and then I am freeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!